Hear my body speak

My body, my image.

No, let's take it back, more like 

SOCIETY'S body,

Society's image.

But hold on .. I don't understand  

How did my body and self image, 
Then become characterized

By strangers we meet on the street

Or on baseball stands?

How is my body

My image..

JUDGED by people who will never know

If I've had enough to eat  

How does my body 

MY image 

Become an enticing topic

At health club retreats

Or vegan meet and greets.?

"My body is my IMAGE

my image is my BODY" 

So it's said 

But is that what gives you the right

To judge me every time

I walk into a hotel lobby?

Does my body define me or 

Who I could be or

Who I am yet to be?

Is my image what makes me so different from you

Or is it the fear of my body, 

Or image,

Not being SOCIETY'S norm what scares you?
Like I said my body my image 

How about THAT.

-by Matilda Rutendo Matangaidze-

Body Image: The Perception of True Beauty

Hello!

One of my best friends Matilda Rutendo Matangaidze took the time to answer some questions I prepared concerning body image, I can say her views are truly worth a read! I also challenged her to write a poem on body image as well, which is the next post. Thanks Mati, you're a phenomenal woman who truly doesn't mince her words.

The Questionnaire

Please tell us a bit about Matilda

My name is Matilda Matangaidze, I’m 21 plus a few years…uuum I recently finished my Bachelor's Degree in Public Relations, Marketing and Advertising and I’m working in a marketing department. I would describe myself as highly energetic person with a very loving soul. I love socializing and seeing the good in everyone. I come from a very extended family so I guess it contributed to my ability to be so outspoken and bubbly!

What do you understand by the term body image?

To me body image is a term  that is being used by society to put people in boxes, it’s either you’re to tall or skinny or fat or whatever. Body image in my eyes is society's new way of bullying but in a more “acceptable” approach.

What is true beauty in your understanding?

True beauty in my understanding is beauty from within that can be seen outside. Ain't nothing beautiful about a good physical appearance but a nasty soul.

What do you like the most about your physical self?

Mmmmhhhh what do I like most guuurrrl where to begin lol just kidding. Well, I would have to say my face wait that is a physical feature right..

Lol. Yes your face is a physical feature Mati! But have you ever been judged because of the way you look? How did it make you feel?

All the time ooh my word I have had so many people judge me before I even open my mouth just cause I'm a bit heavier. Of course I'm human it hurt me to the core.

How have you dealt with as a woman?

I learnt to love myself and accept those that love me for me and ignore those that are close minded and have negative and belittling thoughts.

What is your “feel-good”? (Something you do to boost your confidence)

SELFIES SELFIES SELFIES lol there is just something amazing about seeing ur smile or your eyes on a picture that gets you like okay you look good.

Who or what inspires your your “feel-good”?

My camera lol and of course my makeup kit shout out to GOSH, MAC and NYX products.

How does body image influence the way young people think and treat each other - in your understanding- be it at work, school, home or even social gatherings?

I am actually so glad you asked me that question the way people in general not even the younger generations are now so into what the next person looks like is disturbing. Its like if you don’t look a certain way its hard for you to gain acceptance for example with this whole "yellow bone" trend among Africans it's become so bad that now you have grown men and women bleaching their perfectly natural skin complexion for what?  Body image is becoming such a big concern in society that if its not addressed the generations after us won't get very far.

In today’s world, people are often judged by their physical appearance to gain acceptance. Do you agree? (If not, tell us why)

Yes I do very much there is no denying that. Its not a secret that you are now judged on your physical appearance before you do anything for example with most airlines, I as a plus size girl could meet all the health and language requirements to work on their airline but 99% chance is that they will never hire me. Why? Because I do not fit their physical image which I think is just wrong. Being quick to judge someones appearance can assist in you losing the moon while chasing the stars.

Can you say you have low self-esteem?

No not anymore I did once upon a time though.

Do you think women are easier targets for "body-shaming" antics as compared to men resulting in lower self esteem? 

NO not at all its crazy cause men are judged just as much as women I actually know for a fact that short guys for example feel that they need to prove their worth more than tall guys why because according to society its not okay for a guy to be short, you understand? It's so easy for a guy to have his self esteem shot down even more than girls or women.

Thank you for accepting my poem challenge! What has it made you realize about yourself?

Lol Rudo really? Well I think it has helped me find my inner strength and touch on an issue I had no idea I had the strength to speak about.

Thanks for taking you time to answer these questions. As a last word, any advice you would want to give to young women around the world, struggling to accept their physical true beauty?

I think I just want them to all know that beauty starts within and beauty isn’t just physical appearance. It's so much easier for others to accept you if you have accepted yourself its so much harder to judge someone who doesn’t care what you think you know, so if you cannot accept yourself because of what you hear people saying master the art of blocking out the negativity. If its an issue with what you’ve been through you need to let it go baby girl and move on every woman is beautiful in her own regard you can never look like the next girl its not how its meant to be make your own beauty shine and don’t try to be a photocopy.

Thought of the day

Crisis management in life. We all need this. Click Here to read more!

Oh, and it mentions something about goals too!

-xo-

Unmasking my flaws

So a few days ago a very special person challenged me to write something that is out of my comfort zone..in the most explicit way possible. That was quite a challenge indeed because I didn't know what to actually write about. But after careful thought, I chose a topic, so here goes..

I'm going to talk about my flaws (yes, think of Kelly Rowland's Dirty Laundry ). Not that I would want you to seek pleasure in knowing them, no, but it's so that I can come face to face with who I am and challenge myself to be  better. And maybe inspire you too.

1. I am short tempered

I can safely admit, my fuse really blows off at unexpected times. I don't think most times I get angry, I just go off. Sometimes I can't take jokes, sometimes I easily conclude. It's not right and it's something I've grown to accept, wrongly.

2. I'm insecure about my looks.

As every other female out there, there's always that one thing we don't  like about our physical self (watch out for my Body Image post later on). I think, why am I too short? or why do I have big eyes or maybe am I pretty enough? It's a constant struggle with accepting myself as I was created.

3. I'm selfish (surprise surprise ) 

Well, I won't lie. I usually want things my way. 

4. Controlling much

I like to micro manage stuff. Yes, go left , not right.

5. A bit rude

Sometimes I just don't have that filter. Too raw, too insensitive.

Phew! It feels so insanely disturbing to share all that. But at the end of the day, it's all about how we all handle our flaws for the people we love. We are human. We make mistakes. But the greatest gift we have is the ability to point it all out and redirect our efforts to improve. God willing.

Until next time, xo.

The Dance

My love came to me in a dance

He took my hand, took my heart

One sensual step of his deceiving charm

Was my downfall

I lost myself to him

It started with one dance

Our avatars were one

My love danced with me under a starry sky

He dug deep into my eyes

Answers, searching for them

Mysterious, simple complications

The wavering rhythmic beat of emotion

Owned us, took us hostage

Dance, my love, dance on

Even if ways are parted

Dance on

Even when the tears in my eyes

Adamantly refuse to be subdued

Dance, I'll be watching on

Even though the winds have changed

Even if I've lost the steps

Can't hear the music

Can't find the joy

Dance on my love

I'll find my way back to you

Love and Dance

Sometimes, love has its own complications we fail to understand, well, obviously. We hope for the impossible and deny the visible.

The following piece is crowned as The Dance. It unravels the story of a hopeful lover, who finds love in the most fleeting manner, a dance. I decided to describe this form of impulsive, whimsical love by comparing it to a dance. Dancing, to me, is an expression of the soul. The Caribbean culture embraces dancing as celebrated sensuality. Dance could also be used as an expression of victory, or happiness. Regardless of the purpose of the dance, it all comes to one thing - it has a beginning, climax and end.

The Dance shows how the love in play will end just as dancing would. They have a wonderful beginning, an explosive climax but sadly, the lover realizes that it will all be cut short soon enough much to their disappointment. The ending poses questions: will the desperate lover's pleas be heard? Will their love return for them? Or will it just simply end just like the dance? We will never know, maybe they hope for the impossible and deny the visible.

"The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word." -Mata Hari

It's a GOAL!

Look. I wouldn't need to write a whole page about what goals are. Simply google it ok? But, in case you're too lazy to do that, let me help you;

"Goals are the object of a person's ambition or effort; aim or desired result"

-  Google, 2016 (yes, I just cited Google)

So here comes the million dollar question- when was the last time you can say you challenged yourself to set goals so as to improve the quality of your life? And I'm not talking about those ridiculous bucket lists that won't even survive a month. I'm talking about Specific, Measurable, ATTAINABLE, Result oriented and Time-framed goals. SMART goals.

I believe that as humans, it is quite easy for us to slip into a weightless dimension called The Comfort Zone. Sadly, this is our gradual but epic demise. Put an end to it today! Remember: nothing good comes easy. We have to work for it, we just have to. It's pleasing to see results after we have worked for it all. So yes, set goals today, you can miss a day or two, or even a whole week, but as long as we know we're working toward a new, improved  us. 

Here are some goals I've set for myself. I admit I can be a little lazy, but well, with God I'll see through it all.

Rudo's Goals

30 sit ups every morning and evening, increase number every week

Drink warm lemon water in the morning before eating anything

More green tea, less hot chocolate

Wash my lovely face twice a day

Pray, any time and every time

Jog (lol)

Opt for healthy snacks during study or class breaks

Visit the library at least 3 times a week

Attend Holy Mass at least twice a week, or pray the rosary if unable to attend

Write at least a paragraph of the current novel I'm working on every two days

Update myself on current issues related to Accounting on a daily basis

Inspire someone daily 

UPDATE THE BLOG WEEKLY

Till next week,

-The Libran XO- 

I'm only a crack...in this Castle of Glass

For those who know me, I'm a die-hard Linkin Park fan. I would usually not be a lover of rock music or metal, but this group comprising six talented individuals - Chester, Mike, Rob, Brad, Joe and Phoenix- really stole my heart. They re-fashioned the definition of art in my understanding! 

What captures me most is the rich lyricism in all of their songs thanks mainly to Mike Shinoda who builds up most of the songs for the band.

If you can just take time to listen to the words of one of their 2012 hit songs below -Castle of Glass- very touching. My personal favorite. It's basically inspired by the lives of US war veterans who sacrifice their lives  by endangering themselves in the Iraq situation... well something like that. It also shows the trauma that their families go through upon learning that their loved ones have succumbed..

This rock band is the only group I can say that I draw some of my inspiration to write..their lyrics are full of life, meaning and depth. That's what we all enjoy right?

I'm going to stop here and let you listen!

It's a cold world out here, a world so fragile. .. our Castle of Glass.

Make up... anyone?

Why do women wear makeup??? That would be a billion dollar question, as no two women can give you the same answer as to why they wear makeup.

When it comes to makeup everyone has an opinion about it; how much makeup you wear, whether you should wear makeup or not, or even what we consider or call makeup.

However as much as we all have our preference, our views and opinion on Makeup , we should also respect people’s choices and realize that makeup plays many different roles in every woman’s life. Every woman has her own special reason for wearing makeup, whether it’s to feel more confident, highlight her features, express herself, experiment with looks or just been creative or having fun.

 As a matter of fact, women wear makeup for a different reason every single time.  She could decide to look like she just rolled out of bed with a no makeup, makeup look, or go for a smoky eye in a night out with friends , or even decide to go for a sultry eye with a bold red lips for a date night with the boo.  All these are the different ways women choose to express and wear their personality using the creativity of makeup. 

Let's look at the different scenarios below…

• ·         To those who say “You look ugly without makeup”

It’s not that deep bro! it’s the same face with or without makeup

• ·         To those who say “Why do you even wear makeup? You don’t need it.”

Even Beyoncé wears makeup .. (lol)

• ·         To those that say “I only wear lip gloss and powder , I don’t wear makeup”

New flash boo! You do wear makeup!

• ·         To those who wear makeup to impress a man

Girl!!! Don’t bother because that man can’t even tell the difference between your natural lips and that expensive Mac’s Ruby Woo lipstick you saved for months just to buy.

• ·         To those who say “I like natural makeup like that of Kim Kardashian”

 Child!!! Close your eyes lets pray for you, “open thy eyes oh Lord! Fix it Jesus!” Amen!  .

• ·         To those girls that say “My man says I don’t need makeup to be beautiful”

Check his social media hun! He only likes pictures of girls with makeup (sips tea…haha)

• ·         And finally to the girl that loves makeup, and decides to wear her winged liner and lashes everyday…

Beat that face unapologetically and slay it Girl!!!

And remember! in the words of  Chimamanda Adichie;  “A good shade of lipstick can always put you in a slightly better mood on dark days.”

Share and Slay!!!

-Written by Black, African and Female blogger Myvonne Alasia, for more info on trending issues be sure to visit her blog by clicking  here.

Celebrating the African Female

"This business of womanhood is a heavy burden." -Tsitsi Dangarembga

Hello!

I'm back again. A few days ago, the very talented and mind blowing blogger Myvonne Alasia approached me and asked me to write an article about any African female I considered as a motivational character. I felt honored. Thanks Myvonne!

After careful thought, only one person came to mind, hailing all the way from my home country Zimbabwe, the inspirational filmmaker and writer Tsitsi Dangarembga.

It made me reminisce my high school days back at Monte Cassino Girls' High in Macheke, Zimbabwe. We as young girls got the opportunity to study one of Tsitsi's bestsellers, the novel called Nervous Conditions, for Ordinary Level Literature. I was really impressed with her style and how she'd effortlessly communicated the importance of female emancipation in a heavily patriarchal society. I could go on and on , but for more on Tsitsi, click Here .

Myvonne is a talented blogger. I'd suggest you visit her blog, it is honestly refreshing to read and gives a pedestal for the African Female to be celebrated!

That's it for now. Till we meet again! P.S - Thinking of dropping a surprise on you guys! Stay tuned.

(For more on Myvonne Alasia visit her blog: Black African and Female)

Sapphire

I am a Queen

I am rare

I blow my own horn

Maybe you should fix yours too

I can't hear you from the top

Success is my only noise

I am not meant for the weak

My blood irks at simpletons

I will look at you deeply

Body like Sapphire

Pleasing to the eyes

But none for the hands

Look at your own life

Tell me

How I fit in there?

Sorry honey

Feathers can never hold up gold

So hush your unfortunate lips

Stand still, you might see my splendor flourish

Listen, listen, my glory's prized speech

"I am a Queen

I am Strong

I Rule"

It's too big!

Now I know that all of us have that overpowering egotistic nature. It's not bad from time to time to remind yourself, and those around you, who you really are.

Sapphire is a piece which exactly describes this. Bent but never broken, only you can fuel your zest and potential to reach and exceed expectations. You are your own king! I hope you enjoy it.

NB: I am not that cocky, but push my buttons and you'll ignite a flame of arrogance.

-The Libran-

Rain

Rain on me, sweet love

Sink right into my soiled heart

Parched and torn

Cleanse my afflictions, precious one

And let me see your beauty clearly

Pour down, tender being

Wash the guilt, the hurt, the anger away

Your presence floods my sanity

It drowns my sense of calm

Like a tide you came in unexpectedly

Like a ricocheting wave you carry me lazily

I am content, I am happy

I feel the love trickling down

Into my bruised soul

Your smile is my desire

Your touch is intoxicates my senses

Drown my troubles

May they flow beyond imagination

I live for your magnificence

Rain, rain on me, my only

Droplets of your unending care trickle down on my heart

Your power is within what you have washed away

Your storms are perfect for my peaceful hells