Hear my body speak

My body, my image.

No, let's take it back, more like 

SOCIETY'S body,

Society's image.

But hold on .. I don't understand  

How did my body and self image, 
Then become characterized

By strangers we meet on the street

Or on baseball stands?

How is my body

My image..

JUDGED by people who will never know

If I've had enough to eat  

How does my body 

MY image 

Become an enticing topic

At health club retreats

Or vegan meet and greets.?

"My body is my IMAGE

my image is my BODY" 

So it's said 

But is that what gives you the right

To judge me every time

I walk into a hotel lobby?

Does my body define me or 

Who I could be or

Who I am yet to be?

Is my image what makes me so different from you

Or is it the fear of my body, 

Or image,

Not being SOCIETY'S norm what scares you?
Like I said my body my image 

How about THAT.

-by Matilda Rutendo Matangaidze-

Body Image: The Perception of True Beauty

Hello!

One of my best friends Matilda Rutendo Matangaidze took the time to answer some questions I prepared concerning body image, I can say her views are truly worth a read! I also challenged her to write a poem on body image as well, which is the next post. Thanks Mati, you're a phenomenal woman who truly doesn't mince her words.

The Questionnaire

Please tell us a bit about Matilda

My name is Matilda Matangaidze, I’m 21 plus a few years…uuum I recently finished my Bachelor's Degree in Public Relations, Marketing and Advertising and I’m working in a marketing department. I would describe myself as highly energetic person with a very loving soul. I love socializing and seeing the good in everyone. I come from a very extended family so I guess it contributed to my ability to be so outspoken and bubbly!

What do you understand by the term body image?

To me body image is a term  that is being used by society to put people in boxes, it’s either you’re to tall or skinny or fat or whatever. Body image in my eyes is society's new way of bullying but in a more “acceptable” approach.

What is true beauty in your understanding?

True beauty in my understanding is beauty from within that can be seen outside. Ain't nothing beautiful about a good physical appearance but a nasty soul.

What do you like the most about your physical self?

Mmmmhhhh what do I like most guuurrrl where to begin lol just kidding. Well, I would have to say my face wait that is a physical feature right..

Lol. Yes your face is a physical feature Mati! But have you ever been judged because of the way you look? How did it make you feel?

All the time ooh my word I have had so many people judge me before I even open my mouth just cause I'm a bit heavier. Of course I'm human it hurt me to the core.

How have you dealt with as a woman?

I learnt to love myself and accept those that love me for me and ignore those that are close minded and have negative and belittling thoughts.

What is your “feel-good”? (Something you do to boost your confidence)

SELFIES SELFIES SELFIES lol there is just something amazing about seeing ur smile or your eyes on a picture that gets you like okay you look good.

Who or what inspires your your “feel-good”?

My camera lol and of course my makeup kit shout out to GOSH, MAC and NYX products.

How does body image influence the way young people think and treat each other - in your understanding- be it at work, school, home or even social gatherings?

I am actually so glad you asked me that question the way people in general not even the younger generations are now so into what the next person looks like is disturbing. Its like if you don’t look a certain way its hard for you to gain acceptance for example with this whole "yellow bone" trend among Africans it's become so bad that now you have grown men and women bleaching their perfectly natural skin complexion for what?  Body image is becoming such a big concern in society that if its not addressed the generations after us won't get very far.

In today’s world, people are often judged by their physical appearance to gain acceptance. Do you agree? (If not, tell us why)

Yes I do very much there is no denying that. Its not a secret that you are now judged on your physical appearance before you do anything for example with most airlines, I as a plus size girl could meet all the health and language requirements to work on their airline but 99% chance is that they will never hire me. Why? Because I do not fit their physical image which I think is just wrong. Being quick to judge someones appearance can assist in you losing the moon while chasing the stars.

Can you say you have low self-esteem?

No not anymore I did once upon a time though.

Do you think women are easier targets for "body-shaming" antics as compared to men resulting in lower self esteem? 

NO not at all its crazy cause men are judged just as much as women I actually know for a fact that short guys for example feel that they need to prove their worth more than tall guys why because according to society its not okay for a guy to be short, you understand? It's so easy for a guy to have his self esteem shot down even more than girls or women.

Thank you for accepting my poem challenge! What has it made you realize about yourself?

Lol Rudo really? Well I think it has helped me find my inner strength and touch on an issue I had no idea I had the strength to speak about.

Thanks for taking you time to answer these questions. As a last word, any advice you would want to give to young women around the world, struggling to accept their physical true beauty?

I think I just want them to all know that beauty starts within and beauty isn’t just physical appearance. It's so much easier for others to accept you if you have accepted yourself its so much harder to judge someone who doesn’t care what you think you know, so if you cannot accept yourself because of what you hear people saying master the art of blocking out the negativity. If its an issue with what you’ve been through you need to let it go baby girl and move on every woman is beautiful in her own regard you can never look like the next girl its not how its meant to be make your own beauty shine and don’t try to be a photocopy.

Thought of the day

Crisis management in life. We all need this. Click Here to read more!

Oh, and it mentions something about goals too!

-xo-

Unmasking my flaws

So a few days ago a very special person challenged me to write something that is out of my comfort zone..in the most explicit way possible. That was quite a challenge indeed because I didn't know what to actually write about. But after careful thought, I chose a topic, so here goes..

I'm going to talk about my flaws (yes, think of Kelly Rowland's Dirty Laundry ). Not that I would want you to seek pleasure in knowing them, no, but it's so that I can come face to face with who I am and challenge myself to be  better. And maybe inspire you too.

1. I am short tempered

I can safely admit, my fuse really blows off at unexpected times. I don't think most times I get angry, I just go off. Sometimes I can't take jokes, sometimes I easily conclude. It's not right and it's something I've grown to accept, wrongly.

2. I'm insecure about my looks.

As every other female out there, there's always that one thing we don't  like about our physical self (watch out for my Body Image post later on). I think, why am I too short? or why do I have big eyes or maybe am I pretty enough? It's a constant struggle with accepting myself as I was created.

3. I'm selfish (surprise surprise ) 

Well, I won't lie. I usually want things my way. 

4. Controlling much

I like to micro manage stuff. Yes, go left , not right.

5. A bit rude

Sometimes I just don't have that filter. Too raw, too insensitive.

Phew! It feels so insanely disturbing to share all that. But at the end of the day, it's all about how we all handle our flaws for the people we love. We are human. We make mistakes. But the greatest gift we have is the ability to point it all out and redirect our efforts to improve. God willing.

Until next time, xo.

The Dance

My love came to me in a dance

He took my hand, took my heart

One sensual step of his deceiving charm

Was my downfall

I lost myself to him

It started with one dance

Our avatars were one

My love danced with me under a starry sky

He dug deep into my eyes

Answers, searching for them

Mysterious, simple complications

The wavering rhythmic beat of emotion

Owned us, took us hostage

Dance, my love, dance on

Even if ways are parted

Dance on

Even when the tears in my eyes

Adamantly refuse to be subdued

Dance, I'll be watching on

Even though the winds have changed

Even if I've lost the steps

Can't hear the music

Can't find the joy

Dance on my love

I'll find my way back to you

Love and Dance

Sometimes, love has its own complications we fail to understand, well, obviously. We hope for the impossible and deny the visible.

The following piece is crowned as The Dance. It unravels the story of a hopeful lover, who finds love in the most fleeting manner, a dance. I decided to describe this form of impulsive, whimsical love by comparing it to a dance. Dancing, to me, is an expression of the soul. The Caribbean culture embraces dancing as celebrated sensuality. Dance could also be used as an expression of victory, or happiness. Regardless of the purpose of the dance, it all comes to one thing - it has a beginning, climax and end.

The Dance shows how the love in play will end just as dancing would. They have a wonderful beginning, an explosive climax but sadly, the lover realizes that it will all be cut short soon enough much to their disappointment. The ending poses questions: will the desperate lover's pleas be heard? Will their love return for them? Or will it just simply end just like the dance? We will never know, maybe they hope for the impossible and deny the visible.

"The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word." -Mata Hari