An Oasis

 Knock, knock.

Wow, it seems like AGES ago since I penned down something. I thought it would be only noble if I returned to something I have always loved doing..writing. My oasis.

I guess a lot has happened since then. But the most notable is the new motherhood journey..

Hubs and I were blessed with a handsome baby boy, Manasseh Takomborerwa Hunter on September 15th. Indeed, being a parent is a whole new experience! I was so scared. I didn’t know if I would be able to handle motherhood. I didn’t know if I would be able to handle the stresses and strains of raising a boy. Then I learnt one thing, I didn’t have to handle anything at all. Just let the experience see you through.

Often in life we overthink a lot of things. We wonder if we will be able to put on our capes and be the day’s heroes. No. Allow yourself to feel the experience, to feel the moment and live in it. Overthinking ruins a lot of amazing opportunities. Just leave it to God and do your very best to live the life you are destined to live. 

I may have to end here for today but I promise, more to come!

XO,

Manasseh’s mommy ❤️

Knowing your worth

"Aww..shame."

"Shame, you poor little thing."

"Things didn't work out? Shame!"

I hate that word. Actually, hate is an understatement. I loathe it. Weird as it may sound, I never liked the word "shame" being uttered in my face, I'd totally lose it. Of course the other person saying it wouldn't mean any harm, it's just the traditional and more accepted way of providing the much needed sympathy in unfortunate situations.

But I never perceived it like that.

Just days ago I pondered on this strange flaw, and asked myself why I couldn't stand that word, or many others, which seemingly implied (to me) that I was weak or vulnerable. A direct bruise to my ego. I wasn't meant to look weak or vulnerable, I always had to be at the top of my game. Such vanity. But if I supposedly had it all, why did it have such an effect on me?

Self-esteem.

I'll give you an example. Most of us take solace in finding validation even from people we don't know, especially in this digital age, where everyone is connected to anyone. We post that one bomb selfie online and if we don't have that many "likes" to feel invincible, it can seem like the end of the world to our self-esteem...

So, back to my "shame"ful situation. I always got defensive when my vulnerability was exposed, just because I still had issues in dealing with my self esteem and ultimately my confidence.

It's really crippling when you don't know your worth. We're quick to compare our lives with others, and wish as much that we did not have to be in our own shoes. I have been a victim. Just because life doesn't seemingly look rosy does not mean it's the end of the road. Many times we fail to see the blessings right in front of us but opt to be on the other side of the road so quickly. Sad but true.

Poor self-esteem can do so much damage than it can take to heal. I understand that for some people, it's an every day battle that can ultimately lead to depression. If looking down on yourself becomes a daily habit, it can feel as though you're doomed for life.

I'm still one person who has yet to master the art of accepting who I am and think highly of myself and no, it's not easy.

So I guess before you start each day, remember that you are alive. Being alive means that you have the opportunity to unleash your talents to the world, be extraordinary and achieve goals that you would have once thought were unattainable.

Remember that you're not in this alone. Family and the right mix of friends will come in handy when you feel like falling into the trap. After all, what we all need is a little jump start from them to get the ball rolling.

Pray. I cannot emphasize this with the deserved passion. Dealing with poor self-esteem cannot be solved if you don't let God be the center of it all.

Believe in yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but if those four words become a daily mantra it can be the very start to a lot of triumphs. Challenge yourself to be out of the ordinary.

A loved one once told me, "Darling, you have to be patient with yourself. You don't know how worthy you are."

And I say the same to you, reader, your worth is not of this world.

-RR

Power of Silence

Hush
Your light will not always seem as bright
In another's world
Hush
Let the shadows be your friend
Let your success 
Become your own celebration

The power of silence. Silence is loud in its own right, it leaves a remarkable statement of beautiful mystery. You've heard it now and again, don't share your dreams with anyone or everyone. This is true.

I believe that at the age we are, we're making steps and progressing. Some of us will be great, some of us shall remain in the ordinary. Either way it doesn't stop us from wanting the best for ourselves. However as things pick up and we gain momentum, everything seems to go alright. We get excited. We want to share it all with anyone and everyone who will listen. Oh yes, people will be there to hear how well you're doing, but not everyone will care as much. Especially where you're doing a lot better than they are. The thing is, as we share every detail of achievement or road to success, I feel that we indirectly become accountable to those we preach to. If things go south, then what?

Now I'm not saying we should seal our mouths with duct tape and become entirely unreachable. It's just that major steps in life, major plans are best reserved for your own knowledge, not for everyone. It is best you know how you're doing your own things because, truthfully speaking, not everyone will be happy with your progress. And well we will never know the extent they will go to bring you down.

Know your circles. As you get to the top you will have fewer associates, those on the same race track as you are. Yes, it will feel good sharing each and every stage of your power plan with anyone who will listen but it's more powerful to stay put and allow yourself to reach heights you want to be at, without being answerable to anyone.

Be still.

Loving the Pain of Progress

It sounds a bit absurd, doesn’t it? I mean, since when do we associate pain with a good thing? There’s a million reasons why.

 A good number of people are okay with waddling around in their comfort zones, you know, living in the moment with no idea of how to plan for the future. After all, the future is tomorrow. Literally, I really mean tomorrow. The day after today.

How is it that as we continue to find solace in complacency, we still tend to envy those who have gone high and low to achieve their dreams? Doesn’t it awaken the need to get up and make a difference today? Well, if you ask me, it should. A whole lot.

We, as young people, have the absolute power to shape our destinies. Of course it wouldn’t come easy, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this. The main problem with most of us is we want a defined,easy path. One without much hassle, one without much pain. We forget that in order to get where we want to be, a lot of obstacles will have to be encountered, detours will have to be taken, we will experience the pain of progress. And we have to love it.

If you are not a fan of this type of pain, there is no way that you can realize the refreshing bliss of attaining your goals. That comfort zone won’t remain enticing for long, you will outgrow it and you will have to PROGRESS...

Remember:

• Learn from others, you can’t make it all by yourself
• Be patient with yourself, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
• Learn from your mistakes, they are our best lessons.
• Find, nurture and cultivate your passions,  the sky isn't the limit, you are.

And at the end of the day, you won’t be sitting around moping and being bitter because only YOU can push yourself as much. Live life in such a way that there won’t be need to blame anyone but yourself if you fail to make the move.

Adopting a simple spiritual strategy : 3 basic questions

I've been doing a lot of thinking, well, not a lot as such. I just want to share my thoughts on some things we can improve on as Christians in this busy world we live in. It's just three of them.

• How can I stop worrying and overthinking about situations solely in the Lord's control?

You don't have that dream job you want..as yet. Your relationships seem to be breaking apart day by day. Your health seems to be deteriorating. You feel depressed, hopeless and on the verge of ending it all. As humans, we tend to overthink everything and anything to the point of dejection and failure to progress. We fail to realise that as soon as the Lord is made aware of what's disturbing us, help is on the way. Actually, all the times we have told Him, he has already known and knows what He will do. BUT: He needs to see that we are proactive, you know, forward thinking. He needs to see us work hard to earn what we deserve. Moreover, He needs our faith to be unwavering, unmoved. After all, God helps those who helps themselves!

• How can I embrace the art of humility when asking for forgiveness?

"I don't need to apologise. I'm not in the wrong."

"This 'sorry' business isn't my thing."

"I'll give her/him about a month to cool off, then we're good".

Sounds familiar right? Ego, pride and selfishness are some of the major vices that consume us to the point of breaking relationships. We can always pray about it. Put yourself in the other person's shoes, empathy. When you feel that surge to avoid saying sorry, take a step back, allow yourself to be considerate, humble yourself. It won't take anything away from you. Even as you are a single being, asking for forgiveness will always be a two way process: realising how the other person must feel, and realising what you must do about it..and doing it.

• How can I be more selfless in my prayer requests, to think and pray for my neighbour before myself?

We all know how to pray, yes. But do we know how to include the needs of others before our own? Or is it just all about us? Yes we have a direct relationship with God but let's remember that even in our strength, someone else is on the brink of giving up. Someone is grieving. Someone is weak. Even if we don't know them, they need a simple thoughtful prayer from us. So yes, we can pray about our needs but its more uplifting if a neighbor will be blessed because of your prayers.

Hear my body speak

My body, my image.

No, let's take it back, more like 

SOCIETY'S body,

Society's image.

But hold on .. I don't understand  

How did my body and self image, 
Then become characterized

By strangers we meet on the street

Or on baseball stands?

How is my body

My image..

JUDGED by people who will never know

If I've had enough to eat  

How does my body 

MY image 

Become an enticing topic

At health club retreats

Or vegan meet and greets.?

"My body is my IMAGE

my image is my BODY" 

So it's said 

But is that what gives you the right

To judge me every time

I walk into a hotel lobby?

Does my body define me or 

Who I could be or

Who I am yet to be?

Is my image what makes me so different from you

Or is it the fear of my body, 

Or image,

Not being SOCIETY'S norm what scares you?
Like I said my body my image 

How about THAT.

-by Matilda Rutendo Matangaidze-

Body Image: The Perception of True Beauty

Hello!

One of my best friends Matilda Rutendo Matangaidze took the time to answer some questions I prepared concerning body image, I can say her views are truly worth a read! I also challenged her to write a poem on body image as well, which is the next post. Thanks Mati, you're a phenomenal woman who truly doesn't mince her words.

The Questionnaire

Please tell us a bit about Matilda

My name is Matilda Matangaidze, I’m 21 plus a few years…uuum I recently finished my Bachelor's Degree in Public Relations, Marketing and Advertising and I’m working in a marketing department. I would describe myself as highly energetic person with a very loving soul. I love socializing and seeing the good in everyone. I come from a very extended family so I guess it contributed to my ability to be so outspoken and bubbly!

What do you understand by the term body image?

To me body image is a term  that is being used by society to put people in boxes, it’s either you’re to tall or skinny or fat or whatever. Body image in my eyes is society's new way of bullying but in a more “acceptable” approach.

What is true beauty in your understanding?

True beauty in my understanding is beauty from within that can be seen outside. Ain't nothing beautiful about a good physical appearance but a nasty soul.

What do you like the most about your physical self?

Mmmmhhhh what do I like most guuurrrl where to begin lol just kidding. Well, I would have to say my face wait that is a physical feature right..

Lol. Yes your face is a physical feature Mati! But have you ever been judged because of the way you look? How did it make you feel?

All the time ooh my word I have had so many people judge me before I even open my mouth just cause I'm a bit heavier. Of course I'm human it hurt me to the core.

How have you dealt with as a woman?

I learnt to love myself and accept those that love me for me and ignore those that are close minded and have negative and belittling thoughts.

What is your “feel-good”? (Something you do to boost your confidence)

SELFIES SELFIES SELFIES lol there is just something amazing about seeing ur smile or your eyes on a picture that gets you like okay you look good.

Who or what inspires your your “feel-good”?

My camera lol and of course my makeup kit shout out to GOSH, MAC and NYX products.

How does body image influence the way young people think and treat each other - in your understanding- be it at work, school, home or even social gatherings?

I am actually so glad you asked me that question the way people in general not even the younger generations are now so into what the next person looks like is disturbing. Its like if you don’t look a certain way its hard for you to gain acceptance for example with this whole "yellow bone" trend among Africans it's become so bad that now you have grown men and women bleaching their perfectly natural skin complexion for what?  Body image is becoming such a big concern in society that if its not addressed the generations after us won't get very far.

In today’s world, people are often judged by their physical appearance to gain acceptance. Do you agree? (If not, tell us why)

Yes I do very much there is no denying that. Its not a secret that you are now judged on your physical appearance before you do anything for example with most airlines, I as a plus size girl could meet all the health and language requirements to work on their airline but 99% chance is that they will never hire me. Why? Because I do not fit their physical image which I think is just wrong. Being quick to judge someones appearance can assist in you losing the moon while chasing the stars.

Can you say you have low self-esteem?

No not anymore I did once upon a time though.

Do you think women are easier targets for "body-shaming" antics as compared to men resulting in lower self esteem? 

NO not at all its crazy cause men are judged just as much as women I actually know for a fact that short guys for example feel that they need to prove their worth more than tall guys why because according to society its not okay for a guy to be short, you understand? It's so easy for a guy to have his self esteem shot down even more than girls or women.

Thank you for accepting my poem challenge! What has it made you realize about yourself?

Lol Rudo really? Well I think it has helped me find my inner strength and touch on an issue I had no idea I had the strength to speak about.

Thanks for taking you time to answer these questions. As a last word, any advice you would want to give to young women around the world, struggling to accept their physical true beauty?

I think I just want them to all know that beauty starts within and beauty isn’t just physical appearance. It's so much easier for others to accept you if you have accepted yourself its so much harder to judge someone who doesn’t care what you think you know, so if you cannot accept yourself because of what you hear people saying master the art of blocking out the negativity. If its an issue with what you’ve been through you need to let it go baby girl and move on every woman is beautiful in her own regard you can never look like the next girl its not how its meant to be make your own beauty shine and don’t try to be a photocopy.

Thought of the day

Crisis management in life. We all need this. Click Here to read more!

Oh, and it mentions something about goals too!

-xo-

Unmasking my flaws

So a few days ago a very special person challenged me to write something that is out of my comfort zone..in the most explicit way possible. That was quite a challenge indeed because I didn't know what to actually write about. But after careful thought, I chose a topic, so here goes..

I'm going to talk about my flaws (yes, think of Kelly Rowland's Dirty Laundry ). Not that I would want you to seek pleasure in knowing them, no, but it's so that I can come face to face with who I am and challenge myself to be  better. And maybe inspire you too.

1. I am short tempered

I can safely admit, my fuse really blows off at unexpected times. I don't think most times I get angry, I just go off. Sometimes I can't take jokes, sometimes I easily conclude. It's not right and it's something I've grown to accept, wrongly.

2. I'm insecure about my looks.

As every other female out there, there's always that one thing we don't  like about our physical self (watch out for my Body Image post later on). I think, why am I too short? or why do I have big eyes or maybe am I pretty enough? It's a constant struggle with accepting myself as I was created.

3. I'm selfish (surprise surprise ) 

Well, I won't lie. I usually want things my way. 

4. Controlling much

I like to micro manage stuff. Yes, go left , not right.

5. A bit rude

Sometimes I just don't have that filter. Too raw, too insensitive.

Phew! It feels so insanely disturbing to share all that. But at the end of the day, it's all about how we all handle our flaws for the people we love. We are human. We make mistakes. But the greatest gift we have is the ability to point it all out and redirect our efforts to improve. God willing.

Until next time, xo.

The Dance

My love came to me in a dance

He took my hand, took my heart

One sensual step of his deceiving charm

Was my downfall

I lost myself to him

It started with one dance

Our avatars were one

My love danced with me under a starry sky

He dug deep into my eyes

Answers, searching for them

Mysterious, simple complications

The wavering rhythmic beat of emotion

Owned us, took us hostage

Dance, my love, dance on

Even if ways are parted

Dance on

Even when the tears in my eyes

Adamantly refuse to be subdued

Dance, I'll be watching on

Even though the winds have changed

Even if I've lost the steps

Can't hear the music

Can't find the joy

Dance on my love

I'll find my way back to you

Love and Dance

Sometimes, love has its own complications we fail to understand, well, obviously. We hope for the impossible and deny the visible.

The following piece is crowned as The Dance. It unravels the story of a hopeful lover, who finds love in the most fleeting manner, a dance. I decided to describe this form of impulsive, whimsical love by comparing it to a dance. Dancing, to me, is an expression of the soul. The Caribbean culture embraces dancing as celebrated sensuality. Dance could also be used as an expression of victory, or happiness. Regardless of the purpose of the dance, it all comes to one thing - it has a beginning, climax and end.

The Dance shows how the love in play will end just as dancing would. They have a wonderful beginning, an explosive climax but sadly, the lover realizes that it will all be cut short soon enough much to their disappointment. The ending poses questions: will the desperate lover's pleas be heard? Will their love return for them? Or will it just simply end just like the dance? We will never know, maybe they hope for the impossible and deny the visible.

"The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word." -Mata Hari

It's a GOAL!

Look. I wouldn't need to write a whole page about what goals are. Simply google it ok? But, in case you're too lazy to do that, let me help you;

"Goals are the object of a person's ambition or effort; aim or desired result"

-  Google, 2016 (yes, I just cited Google)

So here comes the million dollar question- when was the last time you can say you challenged yourself to set goals so as to improve the quality of your life? And I'm not talking about those ridiculous bucket lists that won't even survive a month. I'm talking about Specific, Measurable, ATTAINABLE, Result oriented and Time-framed goals. SMART goals.

I believe that as humans, it is quite easy for us to slip into a weightless dimension called The Comfort Zone. Sadly, this is our gradual but epic demise. Put an end to it today! Remember: nothing good comes easy. We have to work for it, we just have to. It's pleasing to see results after we have worked for it all. So yes, set goals today, you can miss a day or two, or even a whole week, but as long as we know we're working toward a new, improved  us. 

Here are some goals I've set for myself. I admit I can be a little lazy, but well, with God I'll see through it all.

Rudo's Goals

30 sit ups every morning and evening, increase number every week

Drink warm lemon water in the morning before eating anything

More green tea, less hot chocolate

Wash my lovely face twice a day

Pray, any time and every time

Jog (lol)

Opt for healthy snacks during study or class breaks

Visit the library at least 3 times a week

Attend Holy Mass at least twice a week, or pray the rosary if unable to attend

Write at least a paragraph of the current novel I'm working on every two days

Update myself on current issues related to Accounting on a daily basis

Inspire someone daily 

UPDATE THE BLOG WEEKLY

Till next week,

-The Libran XO- 

I'm only a crack...in this Castle of Glass

For those who know me, I'm a die-hard Linkin Park fan. I would usually not be a lover of rock music or metal, but this group comprising six talented individuals - Chester, Mike, Rob, Brad, Joe and Phoenix- really stole my heart. They re-fashioned the definition of art in my understanding! 

What captures me most is the rich lyricism in all of their songs thanks mainly to Mike Shinoda who builds up most of the songs for the band.

If you can just take time to listen to the words of one of their 2012 hit songs below -Castle of Glass- very touching. My personal favorite. It's basically inspired by the lives of US war veterans who sacrifice their lives  by endangering themselves in the Iraq situation... well something like that. It also shows the trauma that their families go through upon learning that their loved ones have succumbed..

This rock band is the only group I can say that I draw some of my inspiration to write..their lyrics are full of life, meaning and depth. That's what we all enjoy right?

I'm going to stop here and let you listen!

It's a cold world out here, a world so fragile. .. our Castle of Glass.